Before we do anything else, I must give credit to Come for the Wine for this rocking image that is oh-so-appropriate to today’s rant.
Now, on to the meat of the post. I have pine mouth.
I know what you must be thinking. “Did Liz eat a pine tree? Did she drink Pine-Sol? Did she put pine cones in her salad?”
No, no, and no.
This whole fiasco began last Friday, when, in an effort to tide me over until I ate real food, I popped a Ghiradelli’s Chocolate Hazelnut square in my mouth. 
As soon as I began to chew, my mouth was filled with a horribly bitter, maybe even metallic-y nasty taste. Kinda like I’d just eaten an asphalt and sheet metal sandwich or something (although I really don’t know what asphalt and sheet metal sandwiches taste like. I’m trying to make a point, here, people. Work with me).
I didn’t think much about it at first – just figured I needed real food – maybe the chocolate had mixed poorly with the toothpaste.
Flash forward to lunchtime at one of my all-time favorite Mexican places. Since Hannah had just gotten home for spring break, it seemed only right that we kick things off in style. Let’s make no mistake, here. My favorite restaurant is my favorite restaurant because they have what I consider the best salsa in the world. Except when it tastes like asphalt and sheet metal.
And thus went the rest of the meal. So I came home and did what any self-respecting person who was consumed with worry would do. I Googled it, and landed on about 967,000 results. But the third one on the list caught my attention. And let’s be honest. That’s a good thing, because Googling “bitter taste in the mouth” turns up some pretty wicked results, for crying out loud.
Anywho, on to result No. 3:
Pine nuts left a bitter taste in my mouth.
On reading it, I thought, “wow! mine, too!” You see, I’d decided to kick things up a notch on St. Patrick’s Day (thanks a lot, Kate). Instead of cooking cabbage with the corned beef, I decided to try a shredded Brussels Sprouts recipe. The ingredients? Those cute little sprouts (of course), olive oil, crumbled bacon and …
PINE NUTS!!!!
Aha! I thought. That’s IT! As my research continued, I came across some very interesting articles. Apparently, “pine mouth” as it is often referred to, is a fairly new phenomena. Some say it’s caused from Chinese pine nuts. Some say its caused from one or two nuts that have gone rancid, some say it’s caused from old or stale nuts.
It would seem the only cure for this completely annoying and, quite frankly, scary bitterness, is time. But just how much time are we talking? Well, check out this headline from ABC News:
‘Pine Mouth’: How Pine Nuts Can Ruin Tastebuds for Weeks
Let’s break this down. We are currently at Pine Mouth, Day 4. I don’t think I like where this is going…
-Liz
First of all, let me tell you that I am truly sorry for your Pine Mouth, not to be confused with your potty mouth, which is an entirely different matter to be dealt with on another day:) This does not sound fun, Liz, but I refuse to accept any responsibility for your Pine Mouth. Nowhere, I repeat, nowhere in any of my St. Patrick’s Day posts will you find a suggestion from me to use pine nuts in your St. Patrick’s Day food. That was all your doing. (Btw…shredded Brussels sprouts? Who ever heard of such a thing?) This whole Pine Mouth malady does cause me some concern, though. I love pine nuts. During the fall and winter months there’s a pine nut man who parks his car at a local gas station on Main St. and sells pine nuts from his trunk. He even has a little stove set up so he can roast them for you on the spot. He gets them from our Utah mountains, which are hopefully free of whatever it is that makes a delicious little innocent pine nut turn into an evil Pine Mouth causing nut.
Speedy recovery of the ole taste buds. Liz!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you’re not really responsible for the Pine Mouth. And if you’d work with me here, you’d find that shredded Brussels Sprouts are really no better than the frozen round ones that we get in the little box in the freezer section. But here’s the thing – they’re SOOOO CUTE!! And I want to grow some this year. But it seems a waste to grow them if I can’t acquire a taste for them 
Anywho, the main reason I picked the recipe in question was because I, too, love pine nuts! Well, I used to… As for the local roaster? You’re on your own. I wouldn’t wish Pine Mouth on an enemy – no matter how evil! (On second thought…)